I’ve learned a lot from my teacher when it comes to music. But last Saturday (december 13) after practice he shared another lesson—not about music, it was about courtship.
We are about the same age—both 25 years old. He thinks he’s old and I think I’m still young (well he has been working for five years now so I don’t blame him). Indeed age is just a matter of perspective. He’s a gifted child and he knows that. He graduated college at the age of 20. He can play the violin, viola, cello, bass guitar, piano (even though he’s not fond of playing the piano), and he is now learning how to play the flute and the clarinet. He is a very smart person, an eloquent speaker and an amazing teacher. But just like any other super hero he also has a weakness. He admits that he’s not really that good when it comes to courting a girl. But still, he decided to court this very special girl in his life. Le gasp!
I won’t tell you his story I believe I won’t give justice to the way he told his experience. But what I will share to you are the things I’ve learned in the process of his courtship. I’ve never really heard a well-detailed account on how a guy courts a girl, and it’s refreshing to hear a guy’s point of view about friendship, love, and courage. I believe this was my first time.
Even though I didn’t get any sleep the night before, it’s amazing how he captured my attention. So without further ado my dear friends these are the lessons I’ve learned in the process of his enduring wait for the girl he likes.
What makes him decide that she will be (if ever) the woman that he will marry?
He told me this, “she has the three C’s. She is a Consistent, Committed Christian.” He also said that any Christian undoubtedly knows that he/she should marry a Christian. But there are many different kinds of Christians—there are some who are committed but not consistent and there are some who are consistently not committed (or something like that). But as a Christian, having both qualities (committed and consistent) is very important.
“Just remember”, he told me “we attract what we are. Only a consistent, committed Christian can attract a consistent, committed Christian as well.”
Now that he knows she has the right qualities (aside from the fact that she is a pretty, intelligent, and talented woman), what will he do next? Court her of course! when? And HOW???
First step: Ask God. Ask Him if she is the one. Ask Him if He can give her to you. There was no clear answer, there was no yes or no from God. But the command was clear—he must also ask the girl.
Which brings us to our second step.
Second step: He should approach her and clearly lay down his intention. But it is not easy for him to do that. But nothing will happen if he will just wait. If he will not move, if he will not pursue her, someone will. And that someone with much courage will get the girl he likes.
And speaking of courage, this is what he learned in the process:
Don’t mistake being patient for being a coward. Yes, men should wait for the proper timing. But if you know it’s time, if you know you should do something, then do something. If you need to approach her friends, your family and leaders, then do it. Pray. Write down your script (coz you will really need one I tell you). Ask her out, and prepare for that day/night with her.
As much as waiting is important, the Bible tells us that there is a time for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:7b says there is “a time to be silent and a time to speak”. I may not know how it feels like for a man when the time comes that he should approach a woman, but I encourage you MEN—have courage. For God did not give us the spirit of timidity as 1 Timothy 1:7 clearly reminds us.
And lastly, the lesson I think that will apply for both men and women is obedience.
Whatever it is that God tells you to do, obey Him. No matter how scary the experience will be, and it doesn’t matter even if you “feel” unprepared, do what He tells you to do. I would like to quote what he said, “I have obeyed God. And I will not apologize for obeying Him.”
This is how my teacher describes his whole experience: it’s like driving a car and God stepped on the accelerator, shifted to 5th gear, handed me the steering wheel and told me to drive. “Oh, and by the way . . .” God, like any loving dad, told me, “don’t hurt yourself”. *wink*
Imagine the sheer horror of that experience!
Yes, God is in control, but He also gave us the freedom to drive, to steer, to decide. And since He’s in control of your life, you don’t need to worry.
Shocks this is a very long blog. But I hope that like me, you’ve also learned something from his experience. And I hope, for the guys, that this has also given you much encouragement if you’re in the season of waiting for that opportunity to court the girl you love. To my teacher, all I can do is to pray for you. God bless sir! Ajah! 😀
current mood: enlightened.