4:00 AM. Tumunog na alarm ko.
“10 more minutes . . .”
Pero alam ko na hindi ko dapat pinag-aantay si God.
“Please.” I insisted. I gave my flesh a few more minutes to satisfy its desire to sleep.
30 minutes passed. Gumising na ako.
Binuksan ko Bible ko, nagbasa pero wala akong nakuha; I missed His presence. I was suppose to dine with God and feed my soul with His word, but now I find myself scrambling for a few crumbs only because I wanted to snooze some more.
Naramdaman ko yung naramdaman ni Esau nung wala na siyang blessing na nakuha galing kay Isaac.
. . . he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!” (Genesis 27:34)
He didn’t get his blessing because He despised his birthright.
Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright. (Genesis 25:34)
It was valid, Esau was hungry, but Jacob was even more hungry. Hungry for what? Hungry for the birthright.
Kung iisipin, ginawa ko naman ang dapat kong gawin–mag-quiet time. Buksan ang bible sa umaga, magpray, worship, etc. Don’t be too hard on yourself, Ana. OK na, nagawa mo na “duties” mo. But quiet time is not quiet time without His presence. And spending time with God is not just my duty–it’s my devotion.
I realized how much I demand God to give His promises NOW, His blessings NOW, His healing NOW. But when He asks for our time, our resources (actually, not ours but His), and our talents, what do we say? “Lord, 10 more minutes.” or “Lord, next year nalang.”
It’s stupid to think that God is all grace and mercy and devoid of wrath. Don’t ever forget that God is holy. He is the King and He can, and will, demand for attention.
Before I left my house I prayed–repented of my laziness. And then He said, “Sige, anak, bukas uli.”
Indeed, His mercies are new every morning.
Current mood: Basag.