I cannot look people straight into their eyes because I know they’re disgusted when they see me.
“She’s a harlot!” That’s what they say. Scorned by the public, despised by my family.
I cannot look at myself in the mirror, because what I see is an ugly woman hiding underneath the layers of her make-up.
Braided hair, beautiful clothes, fragrant smell; if only I can be like this alabaster jar—beautiful and precious. People will pay huge amount for this.
But not me.
For I am not worth your year’s wage. Scorned by the public, despised by my family.
But You looked at me. You looked at me with compassion in Your eyes. What do You see that people can’t see? What do You see that I can’t see?
I know some men look at me with lust. I know some men look at me with disgust. But You see me differently. You don’t see me as a harlot; You saw what’s inside of me; You saw something so precious.
Now I understand, it’s not the beautiful alabaster jar that’s precious, it’s what it holds that has more value. But who am I? I am scorned by the public, despised by my family.
I rushed to see this man. They say His name is Jesus. I grabbed my alabaster jar filled with pure nard.
Bowed down at His feet, I wept like child. For the first time I felt love, real love. My Lord, what can I offer except this jar of perfume? I am broken—a broken vessel like this jar of alabaster. My contents are all spilled out but I don’t care. I am loved. I will pour out my all, my everything at your feet. You are more precious to me.
Then He said these loving words to me, “your sins are forgiven. Go in peace.” I anointed Him but He also anointed me. Though scorned by the public and despised by my family, but in Him . . .
I am loved.
I am worthy.
A narrative inspired by a character in the bible in Luke 7:36-50.
Current mood: So many things to do, so little time.