Today I went to the immigration office to get my working visa. Visa is something that we missionaries are praying for every time we would go to the field. I should be happy, but today I had mix emotions. I woke up today with the news that my dear friend and also a missionary, ate Emma received her permanent residency in heaven this morning. I’m struggling right now on how to write this. I feel like words can’t express how amazing she is. Though I planned to write her an open letter, but what for? I already told her what I wanted to say the last time we saw each other. I know she is not my audience. I wrote this for you, for you to know her and understand how special she is to this world.
When I was new in the field the first time I went back home, I had this deep sadness in my heart. I had high expectations of myself that I wasn’t able to meet, and it devastated me. I was in the cafeteria of our office, and she sat with me, and we had a good talk. I told her everything I felt and every sadness I bore. And this is what she said,
“You are who you are, and you are the only person who can do what you can do in the field by the grace and power God has given you.” – Emma
I will never forget those words, and I will always remember how awesome it felt to hear those words of wisdom from her. She reminded me of my strengths, and if I am weak at some points, God will provide help for that. She knows her weaknesses, too, and she is never ashamed of it. Then she told me many funny stories that happened to her in the field, and we ended up laughing.
She is a strong woman. Years before cancer came into her system, she is already struggling with personal things in her life. But she stayed strong and faithful.
Then cancer came. I may not know the fullest story, but from what ate Emma told us, there were moments where she thought she would instantly die because she felt so weak, and the pain was so intense. When other Christians would turn their back away from God when they would choose to run away from Him, especially when problems, discomfort caused by pain, and loss happens. Ate Emma, on the other hand, would run towards God for she knows in His presence is comfort and peace. Though she may not understand the reason for all this and why her, she kept her faith. She chose to believe.
She told us over and over again, “I want to go back to the field. I want to tell them my story. I want to tell them how good God is in my life.” We prayed for her and stood with her; by faith, this too shall pass. And it did, it’s over and today marks the beginning of her eternity with Jesus.
Thank you, Lord, for ate Emma’s life. Thank you for lending this world with such an amazing woman. I know you are proud of her. Thank you for taking away her pains and wiping off her tears. Thank you for the faith that you gave her. It has all taught us a great lesson not to give up and fight to the end.
current mood: Mourning