She is Home

Today I went to the immigration office to get my working visa. Visa is something that we missionaries are praying for every time we would go to the field. I should be happy, but today I had mix emotions. I woke up today with the news that my dear friend and also a missionary, ate Emma received her permanent residency in heaven this morning. I’m struggling right now on how to write this. I feel like words can’t express how amazing she is. Though I planned to write her an open letter, but what for? I already told her what I wanted to say the last time we saw each other. I know she is not my audience. I wrote this for you, for you to know her and understand how special she is to this world.

When I was new in the field the first time I went back home, I had this deep sadness in my heart. I had high expectations of myself that I wasn’t able to meet, and it devastated me. I was in the cafeteria of our office, and she sat with me, and we had a good talk. I told her everything I felt and every sadness I bore. And this is what she said,

“You are who you are, and you are the only person who can do what you can do in the field by the grace and power God has given you.” – Emma

I will never forget those words, and I will always remember how awesome it felt to hear those words of wisdom from her. She reminded me of my strengths, and if I am weak at some points, God will provide help for that. She knows her weaknesses, too, and she is never ashamed of it. Then she told me many funny stories that happened to her in the field, and we ended up laughing.

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Israel team’s strategic planning and strengths finder session last 2016.

She is a strong woman. Years before cancer came into her system, she is already struggling with personal things in her life. But she stayed strong and faithful. 

Then cancer came. I may not know the fullest story, but from what ate Emma told us, there were moments where she thought she would instantly die because she felt so weak, and the pain was so intense. When other Christians would turn their back away from God when they would choose to run away from Him, especially when problems, discomfort caused by pain, and loss happens. Ate Emma, on the other hand, would run towards God for she knows in His presence is comfort and peace. Though she may not understand the reason for all this and why her, she kept her faith. She chose to believe.

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Ate Emma, beautiful inside and out.

She told us over and over again, “I want to go back to the field. I want to tell them my story. I want to tell them how good God is in my life.” We prayed for her and stood with her; by faith, this too shall pass. And it did, it’s over and today marks the beginning of her eternity with Jesus.

Thank you, Lord, for ate Emma’s life. Thank you for lending this world with such an amazing woman. I know you are proud of her. Thank you for taking away her pains and wiping off her tears. Thank you for the faith that you gave her. It has all taught us a great lesson not to give up and fight to the end.

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The artwork I did for ate Emma where she is at peace and free from pain.

 

gloom  current mood: Mourning

Open Up

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Photo credits: Daniel Frank from unsplash.com

Every time we would fly back to the Philippines I would have to visit our dentist. This time Fosty and I had an appointment for cleaning and to check if there are some cavities that need to be cleaned and filled. As I sat on the chair and the dentist told me to open up, I stared at the ceiling and thought about the wonders of our teeth.

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Photo credit: Dan Cook unsplash.com

I bet most of you already know that our teeth are the only part of the skeletal system that is exposed, but they are not considered as bones, said in this article. Also, there is this thing called enamel that covers the crown of our teeth that make our teeth one of the strongest parts of our body (I’m not even mentioning about dentin). As strong as our teeth may seem, it can be destroyed by a sticky deposit on teeth in which bacteria proliferate. And this, my friends, is what we call plaque. Plaque can develop when we ignore our teeth; when we don’t brush regularly when we don’t floss, and when we don’t visit our dentist for a cleaning and check-ups. I had some sessions of root canal procedures so I know what I am talking about.

 

The same thing with us, we have a soul and our soul needs to be taken cared of. When we ignore the hurts that we experienced, yes we can forget about them but, like cavities, it sticks to our souls and destroys it slowly. Like going to the dentist we also have a way to have our souls check and be healed, and that is by opening up. The first stage of healing is actually allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, but not to everyone of course. We can open up to God first, then our families, if not then our closest friends whom you know will not betray you. Also, if you have something that you think needs professional attention please seek the help of your local pastors, a counselor, or a psychiatrist. The more you hide your problems and try to solve it yourself, taking control of the situation and showing everybody that you got all things figured out the more it’ll take time for you to heal.

As strong as our teeth may seem it cannot heal on its own, and no matter how resilient your soul maybe it cannot heal by itself. So open up, seek help, and help your soul.

Also, please visit your dentist at least twice a year.

 

139  Current mood: Sneaky

From my sour bowl of cereals

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I am my husband’s official cupbearer. How I got that title was when we drank a bowl of stale milk while eating our cereals. I knew for sure there was something wrong with the milk; he, on the other hand, didn’t notice any difference at all. After being convinced that the milk was stale he dubbed me as his official cupbearer, making sure he won’t drink any stale food or milk for that matter.

I’ve noticed, in this new season of my life, I need to upgrade my time studying the word of God. Like training my tongue to know whether the food is good or not, I need to train my myself to hear the voice of God through the scriptures. We are living in a generation that shoots information faster than the speed of light; we consume thousands of these

every.

single.

day.

Whether these pieces of information are good or bad we absorb them like a sponge. Exposing myself to the Word of God I can easily glean out things that will not be beneficial for me. Like a good cupbearer, it is my duty to know what information will poison my system.

It’s time for an upgrade!

 

160  Current mood: UPGRADE!!!

The Hero Story

What’s happening, Lord?

A prayer I uttered as I watch another news about terrorism. I squeezed my hands together placed it gently on my lips as I uttered another prayer. My words were so simple mostly crying out for peace.

What’s happening? What can I do?

I know after this prayer one day I will hear another news about terrorism, and another, and another. More lives will be killed maybe someone I love dearly or maybe my very own life. I felt very helpless about the situation, but am I really helpless? Is there really nothing I can do?

I went home bearing the heaviness of the situation. Sure I’ve heard news about terrorism before but that day was different. That day I needed to cry. So I did, I went inside my room closed the door and sat on my bed, I faced the world map I placed on my wall and cried again. Asked the same question,

What’s happening? What can I do?

Then I noticed something. Two verses I placed on my world map to remind me of what I should be doing.

“. . . my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.” – Isaiah 56:7

“Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created.” -Esther 4:14

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I am called to pray at this very moment. Yes, just pray. I know about this already, so why am I still asking God? The method is not the problem, and the Holy Spirit revealed something in my heart that I did not expect. I wanted to be the hero.

He placed my focus back to Jesus and the Holy Spirit said, “He is the real Hero in this story.” I stepped back and acknowledged His presence.

Jesus, at that moment, lifted the burden off my shoulders placed it on His and said, “it is finished.” God has already given the solution to this problem, and His name is Jesus.

Some people may say I am too naive and too simplistic. Granted. But one thing I know and I will hold on to this—we do not need another political leader to change the world, we need a Saviour and a King who loved us and forgave us of our sins and who will teach us to do the same to the people we both love and hate. And until the whole world knows Him, my job is not yet done.

tuzki-bunny-emoticon-021  Current mood: Meditating

Game of throne

Before anything else I would like everybody to know that I haven’t seen a single episode of “Game of Thrones.” And I don’t think I’ll watch a single episode. Please don’t judge me, I still love you. Anyway, this blog post is not about the series, it’s about your heart and who rules, dictates, and calls the shot.

Who sits on the throne of your heart?

There are a lot of gods who wants to sit on that throne. Some of you may not be aware of it, but some you already know who sits on that throne. In fact, you already have decided.

So, who sits on the throne of your heart?

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I hope your heart is not as . . . uhh . . . murderous as this one. (photo reference: Game of Thrones)

Idolatry is a serious offense against God. Idolatry is anything you put before God; it is the first thing  you think of the moment you wake up and the last before resigning to bed; it consumes your emotion and takes up your time. Bad news is that we create our own idols everyday.

we create idols of relationship

idols of career

idols of academics

idols of ministry

for some it is this awesome person you admire. *hint, hint, nudge, nudge*

Your idols will demand a sacrifice. As long as you worship your idols it will demand more than what you can give it will demand your life. The difference between God and your counterfeit gods is this, the one true living God will give you life and life to the full; the counterfeit gods will suck the life out of you and eventually destroy you.

We all have a choice; we can decide who sits on the throne – the God who gives life or the god who destroys life.

Your choice.

139  current mood: Relaxed busy (whatever that means)